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Forgotten My 1st song.

#1 User is offline   BLAZE_DA_HEDGEHOG Icon

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Posted 02 August 2005 - 05:55 AM

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1st verse:
I sit here in this darkness.
Rotting in my lies..
I sit here in this darkness.
I still can here the cries.
As I sit here in the darkness.
All I can see is you.
As I sit here in this darkness.
You drift away,no memories, you're simply just a who?.

Chorus:
I wish I could remember....
All those happy days...
Here in this cold December.
Stuck in this snow white haze.
If I simply wither away and my heart turns rotten.
Its hopeless to try and understand and learn what I've forgotten!

2nd Verse:
All those times I spent with you.
The memories in my head.
All those times I spent with you.
God, I can't believe what you said.
All those times I spent with you.
Are slowly slipping away.
All those times I spent with you.
Filling up my heart with sadness and dismay.

Chorus:
I wish I could remember....
All those happy days...
Here in this cold December.
Stuck in this snow white haze.
If I simply wither away and my heart turns rotten.
Its hopeless to try and understand and learn what I've forgotten.

3rd Verse:
RAAAAH!
I can't take this anymore!!
RAAAAH!
I'm about to hit the floor!!!
RAAAAH!
This is driving me insane!!!
RAAAAH!
You putting me through all this pain!
RAAAAH!
My mind is going down the drain and its turning rotten!!
RAAAAH!
Now I'm hopeless and can't understand what....I've....Forgotten!

This post has been edited by BLAZE_DA_HEDGEHOG: 02 August 2005 - 05:59 AM

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Quote

I only wanted a blessing made.
Now I've been labled a renegade.
It seems so clear now what I must do.
You're no immortal,I won't let them...Deify you!

They view, you as the new Messiah.

Deify you! Renew, believe in some demented myth!!!
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#2 User is offline   Meca Shadow Icon

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Posted 02 August 2005 - 01:08 PM

You should send this to say, Linkin Park or someone like that cause this thing is awsome!
-----------EAT------------
----------SLEEP----------
------VIDEO GAMES-----
----what else is there?--
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#3 User is offline   Naota Icon

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Posted 02 August 2005 - 04:45 PM

Yes, this song is very well thought out.
Oh noes!! No one beleives I'm a girl! Guess I'd better piss and moan like a bitch until they beleive me!
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#4 User is offline   BLAZE_DA_HEDGEHOG Icon

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Posted 02 August 2005 - 06:14 PM

Well...Thanks. Linkin Park Already has a song called Forgotten.
I was bored so I just said "I think I'll write a song," And this is the result.
I originally first posted the song here:
VG Zone-Forgotten (Not the Linkin Park Song.)
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Quote

I only wanted a blessing made.
Now I've been labled a renegade.
It seems so clear now what I must do.
You're no immortal,I won't let them...Deify you!

They view, you as the new Messiah.

Deify you! Renew, believe in some demented myth!!!
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#5 User is offline   Kvitne Icon

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Posted 02 August 2005 - 07:03 PM

Yeah! Inadvertent advertising!

BTW, great song man.
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#6 User is offline   BLAZE_DA_HEDGEHOG Icon

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Posted 12 August 2005 - 08:31 PM

Thanks.
(Inadvertent advertising???Me I have no Idea wat...Oh never mind.)
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I only wanted a blessing made.
Now I've been labled a renegade.
It seems so clear now what I must do.
You're no immortal,I won't let them...Deify you!

They view, you as the new Messiah.

Deify you! Renew, believe in some demented myth!!!
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#7 User is offline   Bleak Icon

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Posted 31 August 2005 - 11:19 PM

Hmm, reminds me of a Mario song. (r&b Mario, not the forgotten one)
Persistence of memory... or reality?
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#8 User is offline   spark45 Icon

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Posted 02 September 2005 - 03:04 AM

its alright for a beginner. idk if this is poetry or a song, but if your going for a song ill tell you now, never use the same words over and over again. like in the 1st verse you keep saying i sit here in the darkness and so on and so forth.. alittle less on the rhyming to.. its a good start. but keep working at it
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#9 User is offline   dorkiness Icon

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Posted 02 September 2005 - 03:48 PM

Yea, I'd be a good Linkin Park song, they tend to use that song style.
"Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you!"
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#10 User is offline   Nine Icon

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Posted 03 September 2005 - 03:49 AM

BLAZE_DA_HEDGEHOG, on Aug 2 2005, 01:55 AM, said:

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3rd Verse:
RAAAAH!
I can't take this anymore!!
View Post



You totally ripped off Linkin Park with that one. Sorry, but really. That's nearly identical to "One Step Closer". And you said mine was identical to "Nobody's Listening"... Hmph!
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#11 User is offline   spark45 Icon

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Posted 03 September 2005 - 03:01 PM

that and he is way to visual with his words

plus the songs set up is a ripp off of my december.

and not only that he ripped off alot of linkin park songs

Quote

RAAAAH!
I can't take this anymore!!
one step closer- linkin park
RAAAAH!
I'm about to hit the floor!!!
hit the floor-linkin park
RAAAAH!
This is driving me insane!!!
this is the only one that doesnt have to do with a song by them
RAAAAH!
You putting me through all this pain!
easier to run-linkin park
RAAAAH!
My mind is going down the drain and its turning rotten!!
runaway-linkin park
RAAAAH!
Now I'm hopeless and can't understand what....I've....Forgotten!
forgotten-linkin park

This post has been edited by spark45: 03 September 2005 - 03:07 PM

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#12 User is offline   dorkiness Icon

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Posted 04 September 2005 - 09:38 PM

Well, atleast he isn't trying to sell it or anything. Plus, it's only a line so it doesn't matter. Tons of songs share the same lines. The song is very much like Linkin Parks song writing style, and he obviously likes LP, so just drop it. All LP songs are the same anyway. Angry at some chick who apparently fucked him over, pure teenage angust. If you want to write a better song, try to make the topic about something else. Like what's going on in the news, what you feel, what you like, etc.
"Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you!"
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#13 User is offline   spark45 Icon

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Posted 05 September 2005 - 12:54 AM

thats bullshit. none of their songs are about that... especially breaking the habit. but what ever my opinion still stands
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#14 User is offline   dorkiness Icon

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Posted 05 September 2005 - 01:25 AM

No need to lose your cool. I'm just saying, most of them are. Even when I was a large LP fan I noticed that. They all are about him getting angry about some girl and telling her to get lost. Or getting screwed over, or something else.
"Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you!"
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#15 User is offline   spark45 Icon

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Posted 05 September 2005 - 02:44 AM

i would like to discuss this more with you.... but i think that would be off topic. so lets stay on topic..and yeah i think your right some of their songs were like that.. butidk because most of the band is married
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#16 User is offline   dorkiness Icon

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Posted 05 September 2005 - 03:18 PM

The screamer (Chester or something) is getting divorced.
"Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you!"
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