[singlemaiden]

[FONT=Optima][SIZE=1]warning this is NOT a fairy tale. fairytales are fun and peaceful! this is not fun and peaceful! fairytales are also for little kids! if you are below the age of 6 you should not read this! i doubt that there are any six year olds here anyway.(P.O.V. means point of veiw) oh before i forget, i dont own anything that sega does!!! this is just me passing my time because i have no life!
Chapter 1:
amy was walking to her beloved sonic's house to give him her annual valentines gift. (she gives him one of these every day even though it isnt valentines day)she walks in knowing she was way early but she doubted sonic would mind. she looks in the kitchen, no one there. when she looks in the living room however...
Sally's P.O.V
i couldnt help but kiss him, i mean hes just so sweet! i love him sooo much even though i wouldnt tell anyone.oh by the way, i should probably mention the object of my affections before you people get confused. its Sonic. you know, Sonic The Hedgehog. he doesnt have any girlfriend that i know of, but amy's sure heads over heels with the guy.
Amy's P.O.V.
i saw them kissing. sally and sonic, that is. when i saw that it felt as if something was wrong with my stomach, i mean, i felt sick. sonic's my boyfriend, by the way. its not even wishful thinking, he actually had asked me out, we even kiss!! thinking that however made me even more sick. i dropped the box holding the chaos emerald id found for sonic. he and sally looked up and saw me, the quivering mass of heartbreak, pick the box back up and leave. id given up everything for him and this is how he pays me back!! cheating on me !!! i was out raged! from now on, [U]I will break others hearts. litterally. first step first, im going to see Mother.

[Kvitne]

You're just a bit shy of the word limit on this one, so I'll let it slide. Make sure your next chapter is longer though. At least 400 words.

[Streak the Blue Racer]

Sucks.

[Kvitne]

I'm not much of one for reading fan fiction. Streak, instead of just saying that it sucks could you elaborate? Maybe point out some things that she should improve on?

Or if it's too terrible you could always do a mock.

[Streak the Blue Racer]

The punctuation is bad, I shouldn't rate the grammar because I'm not a grammar queen, and the plot has been done a thousand times.

Not saying you should write something like "Sonic fights against the NAZIS!!1!1!!", but just throwing it out there.

[singlemaiden]

i wrote about sonic versus the Nazis. maybe youll like THAT one. !!!1!!1!!!
P.S. the "!!!1!!1!!!" is not a typo. im making fun of you.

[Shock]

singlemaiden, on Mar 9 2009, 03:07 PM, said:

i wrote about sonic versus the Nazis. maybe youll like THAT one. !!!1!!1!!!
P.S. the "!!!1!!1!!!" is not a typo. im making fun of you.

Just if you don't mind me asking, but what the fuck did streak do?

And fix those tags.

[Streak the Blue Racer]

She's throwing a fit because I criticized her fanfic.

And in other news, nobody cares.

[Shock]

Streak the Blue Racer, on Mar 10 2009, 12:01 PM, said:

She's throwing a fit because I criticized her fanfic.

And in other news, nobody cares.

How old is maiden again? And >

This post has been edited by Shock: 10 March 2009 - 08:02 PM