[kennyv]

Name:Ember
Age:13
Gender:Male
Species:Hedgehog
Fur: Light brown,orange-ish
Eyes:Hazel
Height:About average for a sonic character
Build:Lanky,somewhat skinny
Attire:Blue Jeans,Red T-shirt

Weapons/Items/Powers/Abilities: Sometimes called "Slots". You can have up to four total.

1) Thunderblade- A sword made up of pure energy.
os=6 ds=4

2)Lightning Blast: A long range electric attack with 15 power, but has 20 power if the opponent is in water or is mechanical with no electrical protection. Takes 10 Strength to use.

3)Determination: x2 Strength

4)Shock!:Paralyzes enemy for 2 turns, (Ember gets 2 posts before they can act again) Costs 5 agi. pts. & 2 vta. to use. Costs 5 Agility to dodge. Cannot be blocked, only dodged.
Stats:

Strength:10(20)

Agility: 15

Vitality: 15
Lesser skills:
Knowledge- Electricity (electrical appliances, lightning, ect.)

Character Development

Backstory: At age seven, the eccentric Ember was often found tinkering with anything he could get his hands on . Ember lived in a small town with his parents,Ella and Wendell. Nothing ever happened in his small town of Raynewood. But then a dark time came, eggbots raided his town taking all their goods and killing any who stood in their way, including ember's parents. Six years later, Ember was in an freak accident,he was electrocuted... And it almost killed him. After he recovered he was given an ability, he can now control lightning and anything electrical. Now Ember is an assassin who's alliances are only as long as he gets the best pay.

Personality:smart, overeager to fight, determined, always thinking with logic first.

Example post: "We're being ambushed, Ember do something!" Paul yelled.
"Well they're only Mark 1 eggbots, so I we should attack their main gauges." Ember said calmly thinking several ways to get out of this. He thought of many actions and then the best one hit him. "Can you get them in a corner?" Ember asked Paul. "Yes, I think I can." he replied. As he pushed them into a corner, Ember summoned up most of his energy to shock them all at with one attack. Once they were in place he yelled "Paul, get out of the way!". In a flash of static energy a powerful Lightning Blast (10 Strength remaining) all the Eggbots shut down simultaneously as the blast hopped from one to the next since they were practically touching. "We did it, Ember!" Paul said, then Ember replied "But you're forgetting, I was sent to kill you. Remember?". Fear drowned Paul's face as Ember gathered as much energy as he could, and electrocuted him with enough force to completely destroy him (0 Strength left). "All in another day's pay." he thought to himself as he walked away.

This post has been edited by kennyv: 04 November 2008 - 10:21 PM

[cheese duck]

have you played the DS RPG of sonic?

[kennyv]

cheese duck, on Nov 2 2008, 09:27 AM, said:

have you played the DS RPG of sonic?

no but i have heard of it. why?

[cheese duck]

kennyv, on Nov 2 2008, 08:35 AM, said:

no but i have heard of it. why?

one of your moves is almost exactly the same

[kennyv]

cheese duck, on Nov 2 2008, 09:45 AM, said:

one of your moves is almost exactly the same

ok doesn't mean i took it from the game

random announcement:i like cake!

[cheese duck]

kennyv, on Nov 2 2008, 08:47 AM, said:

ok doesn't mean i took it from the game

I know good character though!

[kennyv]

cheese duck, on Nov 2 2008, 09:50 AM, said:

I know good character though!

well thanks,i've never role played b 4 so i'm hoping i get approved!

[Green]

I must say. Pretty good for your first try, you need to give lightning blast a set amount of damage, or explain why it might do more damage in some cases, such as using it in water. It also needs a major cost if it's gonna be doing 40 damage, such as you are paralyzed for the next 2 turn and it takes away some of your stat points. The scan power is useless because all you have to do is check out the other player's character sheet for weakness/stats. Any non-player enemy will have their stats listed in the rp, and you only need to do a little math to find out hp. You have the driving skill for a motorcycle, but you have no motorcycle, so I would drop the scan slot and put in a motorcycle for that. Vehicles need stats as well, read about them in the vehicles/pets pinned topic.

By the way, don't even think bout rping with this character until NiGHTS N00B or Pyroman approves it.

This post has been edited by Green: 02 November 2008 - 03:49 PM

[Green]

Ok, you dropped the vehicle thing for stronger stats, thats what I would have done as well. The lightning blast slot still need some work, we aren't playing chance rps here so no critical hit. It needs a set amount of damage, 10-15 isn't gonna work. And even if it only does 10 damage, it should still have a cost, such as it takes 3 agility points to use.

This post has been edited by Green: 02 November 2008 - 04:49 PM

[Green]

OK, I think 2 strength might be a little cheap but maybe not. For god's sake can you please capitilize things and put spaces after punctuation and commas? Also, you should try not to switch from 1st to 3rd person in the same sentence.

[NiGHTS Noob]

Well I must thank Green for helping you out a bit, but I'll try to give you some more pointers from here.

Ok, first off, 15 damage is way too strong for a 2 strength cost. You can either give it a set cost of much higher (I'd say at least a couple Vitality points, and around 7-9 Agility or Strength if it's going to do that much damage).

Or, you could give it pay for damage cost. A pay per damage is like those cards that cost X in Magic if you've ever played that. Basically you have a set cost, say 3 or so vitality, then you say that for every point you put in Strength, the attack gets 2 power. That's just an example of course. That style of move would have less of a benefit at lower powers, but would let you stretch the power to whatever you would need it to be.

It's your choice.

Shock, then, would need a cost too. It would need a cost as to how much it takes to use, and how much it takes to dodge. 2 turns though is mighty steep in these battles, so either it's going to have to be turned back to one, or it's going to be pretty damn low with it's dodge cost. You could probably say that it can't be blocked, only dodged, since it's an electrical shock though.

Also, learn to use proper English. We're not grammar Nazi's, but this isn't some dang site for people who's IQ is below the temp. at the South Pole. Just try to spell as if you were writing in school or something. Just remember to capitalize and punctuate, and try to spell correctly without dumb cuts like 'u' for 'you' and '2' for 'too' or 'to' ( replacing 'two' with it is fine though, of course).

[Green]

5 agility is still a little cheap, throw on 2 vitality points as well.

[kennyv]

NiGHTS Noob, on Nov 2 2008, 09:21 PM, said:

Well I must thank Green for helping you out a bit, but I'll try to give you some more pointers from here.

Ok, first off, 15 damage is way too strong for a 2 strength cost. You can either give it a set cost of much higher (I'd say at least a couple Vitality points, and around 7-9 Agility or Strength if it's going to do that much damage).

Or, you could give it pay for damage cost. A pay per damage is like those cards that cost X in Magic if you've ever played that. Basically you have a set cost, say 3 or so vitality, then you say that for every point you put in Strength, the attack gets 2 power. That's just an example of course. That style of move would have less of a benefit at lower powers, but would let you stretch the power to whatever you would need it to be.

It's your choice.

Shock, then, would need a cost too. It would need a cost as to how much it takes to use, and how much it takes to dodge. 2 turns though is mighty steep in these battles, so either it's going to have to be turned back to one, or it's going to be pretty damn low with it's dodge cost. You could probably say that it can't be blocked, only dodged, since it's an electrical shock though.

Also, learn to use proper English. We're not grammar Nazi's, but this isn't some dang site for people who's IQ is below the temp. at the South Pole. Just try to spell as if you were writing in school or something. Just remember to capitalize and punctuate, and try to spell correctly without dumb cuts like 'u' for 'you' and '2' for 'too' or 'to' ( replacing 'two' with it is fine though, of course).

ok so i cant use shorthand,and i have to capitalize.got it.do i only have to do this in character or all the time?and is 7 str ok for lightning blast?is 5 agi. ok for shock?

[kennyv]

flyleaf is awesome

[NiGHTS Noob]

Well, we pretty much ask that you capitalize and punctuate all the time, not just in character. It makes it so much easier to read, and actually creates a more intelligent atmosphere.

7 Strength is just a tad too low, either a couple vitality points, or a few more strength points should make it work out though.

Shock needs how much it takes to dodge. I'm going to say it should probably take five, not too much, but enough if you wear your opponent down first. It also makes sense since it uses five agility in the attack.

You're pretty close with the stats though. After that you just need to go back through and clean up your post with proper grammar. (I could do that if you can't get around to it.)

[kennyv]

NiGHTS Noob, on Nov 3 2008, 10:05 PM, said:

Well, we pretty much ask that you capitalize and punctuate all the time, not just in character. It makes it so much easier to read, and actually creates a more intelligent atmosphere.

7 Strength is just a tad too low, either a couple vitality points, or a few more strength points should make it work out though.

Shock needs how much it takes to dodge. I'm going to say it should probably take five, not too much, but enough if you wear your opponent down first. It also makes sense since it uses five agility in the attack.

You're pretty close with the stats though. After that you just need to go back through and clean up your post with proper grammar. (I could do that if you can't get around to it.)

Okay,so when I do this I will get approved?

[kennyv]

I don't think I can fix the puctuation and capitalize at the moment(jw but can we use acronyms?).

[NiGHTS Noob]

Alright, I tried to clean it up a lot. Tell me how it looks to you. Does it stay true to what you were trying to do in the example post?

I pulled out the line about Ember being Sonic's replacement. We try to stay away from canon outside of individual RP's so I hope you're OK with that. I was actually going to ask you to change the bit about the Chaos Emeralds to something else, but I guess it's OK, it's a little iffy, but if you got into the details, I'm sure we could find a way to make it work, so I'll let it stay.

If your OK with how it looks now, then I'll approve him. But just so you know, once Pyroman gets back he does have the option to unaprove it, but if he does it's probably going to be an easy fix to get him approved again.

This post has been edited by NiGHTS Noob: 04 November 2008 - 07:38 PM

[kennyv]

NiGHTS Noob, on Nov 4 2008, 02:37 PM, said:

Alright, I tried to clean it up a lot. Tell me how it looks to you. Does it stay true to what you were trying to do in the example post?

I pulled out the line about Ember being Sonic's replacement. We try to stay away from canon outside of individual RP's so I hope you're OK with that. I was actually going to ask you to change the bit about the Chaos Emeralds to something else, but I guess it's OK, it's a little iffy, but if you got into the details, I'm sure we could find a way to make it work, so I'll let it stay.

If your OK with how it looks now, then I'll approve him. But just so you know, once Pyroman gets back he does have the option to unaprove it, but if he does it's probably going to be an easy fix to get him approved again.

Ummm,okay i'll change the chaos emerald thing to something else.

[NiGHTS Noob]

Actually, I just said that I was OK with the Chaos Emerald thing, but whatever, it's not like it really matters too much either way. It's just a small part of his backstory.

Character approved.