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Sonic : Power Trilogy A sprite comic i have made up.
MultiQuote
#23
David man45 
- Super User
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- Group: Banned
- Posts: 106
- Joined: 16-March 08
Posted 26 March 2008 - 01:06 AM
It's good in my book.
and here are some of my fav images!!!
http://www.rhodes28....ose_sonic_x.jpg
http://stt.csdprojec...creamresize.gif
and... http://www.theage.co...07/...__300x471,0.jpg
#24
NiGHTS Noob
- That guy's sword has jet engines on it. Think about that.
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- Group: Members
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- Location:Wily's Castle
Posted 26 March 2008 - 01:20 AM
Not too many problems, just got to fix not spacing between commas, your contractions/apostrophes, and I think one period. Also the phrase "we will handle this" is grammatically incorrect in context, it should be "let's handle this."
Overall a big improvement though.
Overall a big improvement though.
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This post has been edited by NiGHTS Noob: 26 March 2008 - 01:24 AM
#25
miles_prower
- Sonic Fan!
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- Location:The wonderful world of OZ
Posted 26 March 2008 - 10:25 AM
Easiest way to tell if you have made a gramma error, is to read over what you've written, also there's no real reason to spread out your words. e.g: you're instead of you are, and didn't instead of did not (that's what I mean) In your case it would be: we'll instead of we will or even he's instead he is (it just makes it easier for some user and people will probably bag you out less) also work on you text placement, just reading that I had to stop and reread it because I read it backwards, first person who talks should be on the left and at the top and then so on.
#27
Earthmaster!
- Earth Master. Nuff said
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 48
- Joined: 10-February 08
Posted 26 March 2008 - 10:49 PM
The first page was horrible. Just seeing that awful chat speak. Eesh! Plus the comics we're horrid. I hated them. If you want to use fucking lame chat speak go to one of the other forum sites I browse.
url=http://www.wizards.com/magic/images/whatcolor_isblack.jpg]http://www.wizards.c...lor_isblack.jpg[/url][/img]Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.[/CENTER][img]
My character roster
Thunder
Larisse[CENTER]
My character roster
Thunder
Larisse[CENTER]
#28
dorkiness
- Stellar
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- Location:Canada, yo.
Posted 27 March 2008 - 02:54 AM
Here. Since you ignored me. Look at the changes I made with the text boxes. Do that!
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"Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you!"
#30
dorkiness
- Stellar
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,367
- Joined: 24-May 04
- Gender:Female
- Location:Canada, yo.
Posted 18 April 2008 - 01:25 AM
Big improvement. Everything is way easier to read and nicer to look at. The plot was a little hard to understand thought, but keep trying to improve. Good job.
"Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you!"
