[NiGHTS Noob]

This is nowhere near finished, or even really started. It's going to star 6 fancharacters, and most likely Mighty a little bit. heres the first chapter, it leads into the second, but that's not even half done yet so I'm not posting it. It is supposed to start off with you knowing almost nothing about the character, the second and fourth chapters are going to share everything about her. Please tell me what you think of my style and what I could do better.

EDIT: Static may seem sue-ish in this first part, but trust me, she's really really not, I have a character that could borderline pass for sue-ish and it's not her.


The Mercenaries

Book One: Game of Destiny

Part One: Draw five cards

Technical Difficulties:
Rising up from the thick, transparent green fluid that had just spilled all over the ground, Static saw the computer malfunctioning and breaking down. She looked down at her hands and noticed that she was not wet in the slightest, and even though she had just been breathing in a liquid she felt fine and ready for some action. The room she was in though wasn’t the place for it. Everything was completely steel colored, metallic and sterile seemed to be the attempted look, and judging by the atmosphere their was a reason for it. The small monitor screen that had been watching the tank levels and performing the mind control sequences on her was over turned, and the fuzziness running across the screen showed that it was no longer performing its said duties. The tank behind her was still pumping the thick liquid out of the hole in the glass on its front side and a little red light was blinking on top of it, signifying emergency shut off.

The doors in the room were locked, and it looked like no one had noticed the break out yet. “Guess I’m lucky today” Static said with a cocky tone as she walked toward the largest door. Pressing her hand firmly against the door a knowledgeable smile grew across her face. As she focused, a spark of electricity shot out from where her hand touched the door. It quickly fizzled in the air, but was followed by a few more as soon as it was gone. Suddenly the big center piece on the door began to turn and a burst of air puffed out. The door was depressurizing now and it began to open, as the door got wider Static was able to peer out into the hallway she was about to head down. The hallway had a shorter ceiling than the room she was just in, and the lights were very bright and long. The fluorescent rays reached every inch of the room, and without any cover and cameras everywhere Static realized this was going to be fun.

Luckily for her all the cameras were pointing at a downward angle and none were pointing towards the room she was in. “Seems like Nega wasn’t afraid of a breakout” Static took two steps forward, coming out of the room, and she began to crouch down. “...and liftoff!”she shouted to herself as she leapt up to the ceiling. Spinning a full 180 degrees in the form of a half back-flip as she rose straight up, Static firmly planted her feet onto the ceiling as she touched it. The jump must have been 20 feet to the ceiling, but it was no problem for a being of her caliber, and as she was touching the ceiling she began to run an electrical current down to her feet. “Heh, gravity” she muttered to herself as she grabbed here ears which were now hanging down and dangling in mid-air. Static began to walk along the ceiling and bypassed all the cameras which would have given her away if they were pointed just a few degrees higher.

Stepping over the doorway and into the next room Static noticed a maintenance robot moving along the ground below her. It possessed a laser, probably used to weld metal, and a large adjustable wrench. As it floated towards her from the path on her right its sensors flared and beeped. It stopped directly under her and began to turn toward the room she had just come from. Static quickly surveyed the room she was in: three doors in the hall straight ahead, one at the end of the bend on her right, and some piping and a computer panel along the way. The only camera was the one she was now standing directly over, and it hadn’t seen her yet. Static dropped down from the ceiling and landed directly on top of the robot. The bot attempted to let off an alarm, but as it started to, Static quickly ran an electrical current down through her fingers and into the bot. As the bot’s sensors whirred and its arms flailed, the head began to droop, and the bot finally stopped moving. It fell to the ground with a thud and Static leapt back up to the ceiling to decide what to do next.

Looking down, or rather up, Static peered at the swiveling camera, “I think I can time it right to get to any door before it sees me” Static said, “The problem is what door to go through”. Looking at the different doors Static saw something; the terminal on her right had a map on it, and a rather detailed one too. It was to far away to see, so Static crouched down and placed her hand on the camera. Closing her eyes Static began to see the camera’s tapes in action, she froze them on a spot where it was looking at the terminal and zoomed in as far as she could. It seemed that the door on her right went into a large room labeled ‘Warp Testing Chamber’, and the last door to the left on the path straight ahead led to the entrance of the facility. The other two doors led to a kitchen and a bathroom, but that was insignificant information to Static. She watched the camera as it started to swivel back towards the right hall. As it did Static stood up and leapt as far as she could and landed running on the ground below. With her legs pumping Static passed by the door at a full sprinting pace, and as she did, Static placed her hand on the door. Her hand stuck to the door and pulled Static’s feet into the air as she clung on and opened the door simultaneously. She replanted her feet on the ground and ran through the door with more than a couple of seconds to spare as the camera started reeling back around.

With the door closing behind her, Static began to walk forward. She found herself in a very large circular room with a desk in the center. There were many papers and folders on the desk, and a port for a laptop to hook directly into the systems network was there too. A mug saying ‘I’m just to evil!’ was on the desk and filled up with mechanical pencils and a ruler, and underneath it was some very large grid paper. Around the edges of the room were a few potted plants, and numerous screens for the security cameras hanging off the walls. It looked much more like an office building than the entrance to an evil factory, and this is what Static was undeniably thinking as she walked over to the desk and peered at the papers.

Looking over the folders, something caught Static’s eye; a folder labeled ‘Bio-experiment #1: “Static”’. “Well I’m the only Static I know of, so lets see what he’s got in store for me.” Peering inside the folder, Static saw many different figures and equations which didn’t make very much sense to her. Flipping the page Static saw some new things, “static electricity, destruction of nerves, blah blah blah, here we go, designed to fight and capture Princess Blaze for testing on natural elemental capabilities and to lead robots in conquering of the world.” Static paused for a moment and thought back to before she became this destructive force...

This post has been edited by NiGHTS Noob: 17 February 2008 - 04:00 AM